Aftermath
by Wasianisms88
Summary: It's been two years since the war in Panem and Katniss and Peeta have been living in District 12, each trying to forget their horrible pasts while trying to forge a peaceful, happy future for themselves. They are in love- for real this time- and have been given a chance to restart their lives, but will the scars of the past make it impossible for them to move forward?
1. Prologue

**Author's Note: **This is a _**fanfiction**__._ I have no intention of being-nor do I think I am- Suzanne Collins (although I wish I could be her :D). _The Hunger Games_, _Catching Fire_ and _Mockingjay_ are all hers respectively. This story takes place sometime after the last page of _Mockingjay_ but before the epilogue in _Mockingjay_. (: The first chapter is going to be rather short. Bear with me that I will sound nothing like Suzanne Collins (obviously) but I will try my best to write how she might. Enjoy anyway. (Please? D8)

* * *

**Prologue**

It's been two years.

Two years since the rebellion, two years since the entire nation of Panem was thrown into chaos, and, most importantly, two years since the death of my younger sister Prim. My mind is still trying to wrap itself around it all. My mother cries for her lost child and has done so every night for these last two years since Prim's passing. Over the phone from District 4 where she manages a hospital I've listened to her unending suffering day in and day out, trying my best to console her... but for some reason I can't seem to find the right words to try and heal her broken heart.

My words often get stuck in my throat and the line is filled with her rampant sobs.

I have to remind myself that don't think a mother's broken heart can ever truly be mended.

I, for some reason, am too numb to cry. A few tears escape here and there now and again but never am I able to sit down and lose myself.

I want to... to mourn for my beloved sister who I loved more than anything else... but nothing would come out even if I tried.

The only thing I can bear to feel is insurmountable grief and deep depression all coiled up inside. That seems to be the only thing my mind and body will allow. I can't remember the last time I smiled or even felt the remote flicker of happiness.

Maybe I've lost so many people that I love that I've lost the ability to feel pain as acutely as I'm supposed to.

After all, my life is grey and dull as the time passes by, each day whipping from morning to night as I spend silent hours in the woods hunting to get my mind off of things.

My hands loose the arrows as they always have, bringing down rabbits and squirrels and the occasional deer.

The game bag I have always used is full by the end of each day and I have to struggle to get it closed so that it won't belch the carcasses of the deceased animals up again. I used to have to hunt for only my mother and sister and the Hawthornes but now I have to provide for Peeta, Haymitch and Buttercup. We all have been trying to survive here in District 12 since the rebellion ended and the war was won and so far it's gone well.

My game provides not only food for them, my odd new "family", but also is coveted by the cooks that keep the District's remaining residents fed.

Since President Snow's death, a new president has come to power- Commander Paylor- or should I say _President_ Paylor.

My memories continue to come and go, leaving me scrambling for clarity day in and day out, so all I know for sure is that this person was chosen rather than rising to power through the ranks like President Snow had in his youth.

So far, this young new president seems to be doing well because Panem has been able to slowly put itself back together under her rule.

Our districts, now thirteen instead of twelve, are gradually rebuilding themselves and learning to exist together without the threat of the Hunger Games coming annually from the Capitol.

I have returned to District 12, my home, and have remained here since the war ended.

It has been inhabited again and is on the rise back to recovery from destruction... but too much has happened for me to say that things are well again. One thing I know is that my sister Prim is buried in the Meadow in a special grave next to a makeshift memorial for my father. I visit them occasionally when I feel I can bear the pain long enough to lay flowers and to remind them that I haven't forgotten about them.

I never will forget.

After all, wherever they are now, I know they are together again at last and neither of them can feel pain or suffer any longer.

I will never forget also because I see them in my dreams every night along with all of the others I have lost in the past.


	2. Chapter One

**Author's Note:** I hope you guys enjoyed the prologue. (:  
I'm sorry about the delay, guys! I've been busy with college and I have writer's block like _CRAZY_!  
But I'm back and ready to roll. Chapter 2 should be up soon too!

* * *

**Chapter One**

Before I realize it, I'm standing in the town square that has risen in the middle of District 12.

The cobblestone street, paved right after the end of the war, is dusted by a layer of snow as I begin to walk straight down the street.  
This path will lead me to the alley that I use as a shortcut to get to the house where Peeta and I live. Everyone around here right at this moment either keeps to themselves or is crowded with others in the shops and other hangouts around the square. The only thing that I notice as I walk is the fact that some of these people raise their heads to stare at me.

I'm used to it. This is just a part of who I am now.

After all I _am _the one responsible for the rebellion that had brewed in Panem after the 74th Games.

Unfazed, I continue down the street and turn the corner to the left down the narrow alley leading to the house Peeta and I share.

When I reach the end of the alley, I am met with a marble wall that shoots up about four stories and is as wide as the eye can see on either side.

There are windows punched intermittently through the wall in perfect alignment, allowing me to find my way to the black wrought iron door that separates them in the middle. The door is heavy and I have to exert great force to push against it to gain entrance to the next area. It swings back into place, locking itself with a loud crashing clank and I flinch as it does so.

This door leads into a wide, open courtyard that is centered by a chattering, bubbling square fountain that is teeming with fish big and small beneath the surface of the water that is dotted with lily pads. The fountain itself is surrounded by a stone base and on each of the four corners sits a flowerpot occupied by several blooming primrose plants, all of which I planted in memory of my sister. When the small yellow flowers bloom in the spring, I see my sister's face and remind myself to stay strong for her. Unfortunately for me right now, because of the season, the primroses are nowhere to be found, all having died off so I make a mental note to immediately get more next spring.

From the sides of the fountain spring multiple lines, each jutting off into different directions that remind me of the twelve spokes of the clock arena from the third Quarter Quell, my second and last Games ever. For a moment, I can still hear the thunderous ticking of the clock we had heard within a short time of the arena and my anxiety seizes me for a few moments, memories flooding my mind.

Brutus, Enobaria... the morphlings... Beetee, Wiress, Finnick, Johanna... _Peeta_... and all of the other tributes...

Monkeys... blood rain... poison fog... jabberjays... the lightning tree...

I dismiss them with one shake of my head.

I follow the line that juts from the side of the fountain on the left, letting it lead me home, and I continue to walk in silence up the slight incline where the snow has begun to accumulate more, leaving patches of white all over the short, jagged grass and the roofs of houses around me. The house I share with Peeta sits just a little further up the incline where the ground levels out.

Our house itself is nothing like the ones in the Victors' Village which was destroyed soon after our return to 12 to aid us in forgetting the effects of the Hunger Games on our lives. Some of District 13's finest architects have made it here and over the past two years have constructed the new houses for us... but unlike the Victors' Village house, this house is a soft beige color so it has a warmer vibe to it.

Plus, as a gift to me and Peeta, it came with a few slight alterations.

Upstairs in the back of the house lies a large room where Peeta spends part of his days painting. This room faces the west so he can capture the light of the sunset on his canvases whenever he feels so inclined. Just down the hall is our bedroom where Peeta holds me, comforting me when my nightmares induce terror and I wake up screaming. The bottom floor of the house is made up of a large sitting room, a bathroom, a long hallway connecting the rooms, and a spacious kitchen. Since the war ended, Peeta has spent most of his time in the kitchen baking. He does what he can to provide for those who are new to the district by making sure they at least have bread to fill their stomachs when they come to settle.

Needless to say he is very popular for it.

When I reach the house, I walk very slowly up the steps of the front porch, my feet plodding against the stone, feeling like blocks of iron. My heart is burdened with deep emptiness and I try to ignore it as I fumble for my key to the front door that lives in my jacket pocket.

But to no avail.

I pull the key from my pocket, unlocking the mahogany door, and push against it. As I push it open, a flood of warm air attacks me, blowing my hair back and practically defrosting my fast as I enter the house. My nose detects the delicious aroma of bread and from the front hallway I head immediately toward the kitchen where Peeta's loving arms and lips will greet me. I round the corner into the kitchen's entrance and happen upon a blonde figure.

But it's not Peeta. My eyes dart to this person's.

Haymitch smiles slyly in my direction as he holds a clear bottle with amber colored liquor in it. It's uncorked and half-full. "Why, hello, sweetheart. Enjoy your walk?"

From where I stand halfway across the kitchen, I can smell the liquor on his breath and it makes my stomach turn.

I'm in no mood to see Haymitch so I merely grunt in his direction. "It was spectacular." I say flatly.

Haymitch smiles slyly again. "Always a piece of work."

I grow angrier in that instant. "What are you even doing here? Aren't you supposed to be slumped over in a chair passed out?"

He glowers at me.

"I came to get my alcohol from your lover boy."

"How did he get it?"

"He went to the trading post." Haymitch replies. "I ran out. Last night, Peeta came over to check on me and offered to buy some more."

_Oh, you just won't get alcohol poisoning and die, will you_? I think to myself.

"Lovely." I reply. "Feeding the addiction..."

"That's right." Haymitch replies contentedly, swigging from the bottle.

Usually I'm happy to be home with Peeta but Haymitch being here makes me want to go into the woods, find a handful of nightlock and stuff it down his throat.  
It would serve him right.

"You're still messed up from the war, Katniss. That happened _two years ago_. I think a little _refreshment_ could do wonders for you... you know, cheer you right up..." Haymitch tells me.

I make eye contact with him and force myself to repress violent things from coming out of my mouth.

"Why? So I can end up an old drunk like you?"

Haymitch laughs, giving no verbal response, and goes back to downing his liquor as I scan the kitchen for Peeta. I look back to Haymitch with an annoyed expression on my face, prompting Haymitch to point over the island counter in the center of the kitchen and to the stove. Peeta crouches in front of the oven, his eyes in an intent stare through the small window in the front, seemingly oblivious to the two of us.

"Hey, baker boy, your lover's home."

Peeta turns from the oven and stands, a wide smile on his face when he sees me.

"Hey." He says, making his way to over to me. I pull him toward me and we hug for what seems like an eternity. Then we pull away from the hug and our lips meet. That's when Haymitch decides to remind us that he's still in our midst.

"If you two don't mind," He tells us as he snatches up a dozen different assorted bottles of alcohol and heads for the door leading out to the back of the house, "I'm going home. If you need me, you know where I'll be... passed out somewhere."

The door slams shut and Peeta and I look to each other.

"Crazy jackass." Peeta smiles. "Why do we put up with him?"

I lean in and kiss him, trying to forget the world around me at the moment. Unfortunately for me this tactic doesn't work. "Because we have to. We're a team, remember?"

"Yeah."

"Speaking of our team..." Peeta begins "...have you heard from Effie lately?"

I shake my head. "I've seen her on TV once or twice. She's one of President Paylor's assistants now, but other than that I'm in the dark about how she is."

"Hmm." He replies. "Oh, well."

"She'll get in touch with us eventually. You know Effie." I tell him.

We both laugh quietly. I take Peeta's hand and hold it, feeling extremely fortunate that someone like him loves me. Unsure of how to handle this situation conversation-wise, I sigh and look to the floor. We stand there in silence and I find that it is more than fine with me. I love being with Peeta. He makes me feel secure and he loves me. That's all I truly need anyway after all that's happened. Ever since the war ended, he's all I've known as far as affection is concerned.  
He's my everything.

"Want some bread?" Peeta asks me, giving my hand a gentle squeeze that pulls me straight out of my stupor.

He knows just what to offer and say when I'm in this mood.

"That would be great." I answer quietly.

He pulls me toward him and places a small kiss on my lips, causing my stomach to erupt into butterflies.

"I love you." I offer to him.

Peeta's eyes meet mine. He often gets uppity when I say this to him. He doesn't think I should, that it wears away the true meaning if it's said too often.  
I watch as his lips curve into a small smile and he squeezes my hand again. I most certainly _do_ love him but I refrain from saying it often because I agree that it takes away from the words' effect if thrown around carelessly.

"I love you too." He replies softly.

We let our foreheads touch gently for a few moments and he backs away, turning to the oven to check on the bread that he's been baking. My hand scrambles for his again once he's released it but I pull it back and sigh. Nothing could be better than me being alone with him and I decide to cherish each moment, counting the seconds, knowing that they are short. Someone is bound to be stopping by soon for their ration of what Peeta has made and anger rises within me.  
Peeta should be with me and no one else. We hardly get any time to spend with each other. I close my eyes and sigh contentedly, enjoying the moment of silence.

That's when the phone on the wall next to the oven rings.


	3. Chapter Two

**Author's Note: **Hope you guys liked the first chapter. (:

* * *

**Chapter Two**

The phone's ringing startles me and I watch as Peeta shuffles over to answer it.  
He picks it up and holds it to his ear, keeping a close watch on the oven as not to let the bread burn. I catch a glimpse of Peeta's profile and something triggers the memory of being on guard around him, of watching him while he was still recovering from what he had endured in the Capitol. He had lunged at me and wrapped his fingers around my throat, trying to kill me. In that instant I can feel his fingers close around my throat again even though he stands a few feet away, distracted by whoever is calling at the moment.

He thought I was a mutt... something the Capitol had engineered to torture him...

"Hello?" He answers.

I watch him cautiously, feeling for some reason as though he might turn around and hurl something at me. My heart sinks into my stomach and I shrink back, afraid of his next move. He hasn't done it in a while but he's done it before so I know I can't be too cautious.

_Why am I living with him if he terrifies me like this? _My mind erupts in thoughts.

"Effie!" He exclaims. "Hey - _hi_ - how are you?"

_What is wrong with me? __Nothing is going on. I'm with Peeta. He would never... _

"Oh, Katniss? Yeah, she's doing great!"

_But he has._

I try to rationalize the situation to myself and repeat in my mind one thought: _He's changed_. _He was cured. You have nothing left to worry about... it's been two years_. But nothing can shake this strangling, smothering feeling. The thought of him being able to kill me reenters my mind. If he did it once before, he can surely do it again.

"Oh, yeah, sure, you can talk to her!" Peeta exclaims. He turns toward me, mouths _It's Effie _and extends his arm that holds the phone to me. "Katniss, come here!"

I stare at him and back away slowly, shaking my head. I shrink to the floor, the blood draining from my face and I attempt to scramble away from him backwards.  
But I realize a few seconds later that his former crazed, brainwash persona is not what is truly scaring me. In this light, since he now keeps his hair relatively short and styled, he looks exactly like Marvel, the dirty-blonde tribute from District 1 who killed Rue. The image of Marvel hurling the spear that killed Rue overcomes my mind and terror seizes my body.

Peeta stares at me, very aware of what I am going through. "Uh-huh. Yep." I hear him tell Effie as she chats away on the other side of the line. "Crap! Sorry, Effie. Katniss is busy right now- she's out at the trading post. Yeah. She killed a deer this morning and is getting some money for it." He's always been one with the gift of making up convincing stories out of thin air. He pauses, his concerned expression bringing me slightly back to reality. "I can have her call you back if you want." He looks away from me, his eyes searching the kitchen as Effie continues to talk away. I sit in silent terror, watching Peeta's face become Marvel's and Marvel's become Peeta's over and over again. "Oh! You are!" Peeta says in surprise. Marvel's face is talking but has Peeta's voice. "Great! No- yeah! Yeah! We'd love to have you here!"

I scramble backward around the island counter so that Marvel can't see me and I only stop when my back slams against the doorframe and for a second my vision is jolted, turning Marvel into Peeta and back again. My hands fly to either side of my head and this muffles his voice- whoever this is I'm listening to- and I squeeze my eyes shut to block out the hallucinations.

I'm shuddering now and the exact moment that I uncover my ears and open my eyes, Marvel is standing right over me, looking down and holding the deadly spear that ended Rue's young life. When he raises it, the razor sharp tip ready to plunge down into me, I reach back for my arrows instinctively...

But they are not there.

Before I can stop myself, the next thing I know is that I'm screaming at the top of my lungs.

* * *

A pair of hands seizes me and I attempt to wrestle out of their grip, unwilling to die at the hands of this tribute. I can't see, everything is blurring around me, and I can't breathe.

"Katniss!"

"_No_! _No_! _Let go of me_! _You killed Rue now I'll kill you! Let me go!_"

I struggle, kicking and flailing and calling for Peeta, knowing that he'll do anything he can to save me from Marvel.  
My vision comes back into focus and I see Peeta's eyes meet mine. By this time, Marvel has completely disappeared and Peeta has his brawny arms around me as I sit crumpled into a heap on the floor. I've found my breath again but I'm breathing heavily, my lungs burning in my chest.

"Peeta..." I gasp.

My hands clasp to his face and he smiles, seeming extremely relieved that I'm not freaking out anymore.

"What? What did you see?" He asks me in a low voice.

I shake my head, tears streaming down my face. "Marvel... he killed her... and you were him..." It's all I can manage before I press my face into his shoulder and lose myself crying.

Peeta continues to comfort me, telling me it's okay and he strokes my head until I black out.


	4. Chapter Three

**Author's Note:** I apologize that the last chapter was a little short. I was going for a dramatic sort of feel. :)  
Hope you liked it!

* * *

**Chapter Three**

When I'm cognizant again, I'm in our bed with Peeta sitting right next to me. My head and upper body rest up against some pillows that lean on the wall and I blink slowly, feeling no better than I did earlier. I look over to him and notices that he's focused on something small and round that he rolls between his fingers. My brain tries to make sense of the image and I realize that it's the pearl that he gave me in the last Games. His face, where my eyes dart next, is sullen. We remain in silence as I come to my senses.

"Peeta..."

My voice is raw and scratchy and my throat feels like someone has taken their fingernails and raked them down the length of it.

He turns his head to me and lays his hand on my thigh. "How are you feeling?"

"Barely alive. Nothing I've never felt before." That is my answer.

I shouldn't be complaining but it's the only response I can force out of my mouth.

"Worse than being in the arenas?"

We both smile, his sense of humor is too adorable to resist. I nod.

"I'm glad you're all right."

I'm just glad I can spend every moment with him.

"I'm sorry." I tell him. "For everything..."

Peeta's lips assume a ghost of a smile. "Don't be sorry. It happens to me too."

"I shouldn't have freaked out like that... you've been through worse than I have what with the hijacking in the Capitol and all."

He shakes his head slightly. "We're both messed up."

His level of understanding of me is baffling. He's always been one to care about me rather than himself which I can't wrap my head around at all.  
After all, I've threatened him and put him in danger so many times before... why does he love me and not he resent me like he should?  
Old habits die hard. That is the conclusion that I come to. He _has_ been in love with me since we were both very small after all.

"Peeta... after everything we've been through, I-"

"Stop." He commands softly, interrupting me. "You need some rest. I'll go get you some of that bread you wanted earlier. Do you want anything else while I'm down there?"

He places the pearl in my palm and rises from the bed. I blink at him as he crosses over, opens the door of the bedroom, and hovers in the doorway for a moment. Why is he so wonderful to me? I can't fathom it. A quick shake of my head, a small smile in my direction from him, and him turning around to the doorway and into the hall are the only motions that pass between us before he disappears. I hear his footsteps on the stairs and sigh to myself, looking down to my palm at the pearl.

_You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know. _Haymitch's words haunt me.

He's right.

I take the pearl and place it gingerly in my pocket before close my eyes for a few minutes and drown everything out.

_Maybe I can make myself truly worthy of him one day. _I think to myself.

* * *

Peeta returns a little later with a tray containing a silver pan on which the bread sits and a teapot and two teacups. My heart flutters in my chest at the sight of him and my eyes remain on him as he makes his way across the room. He sets the tray of food down on the bed and walks around to the other side before he sits down next to me. I lean back against the pillows even more, letting myself relax and I keep my eyes on him. Peeta reaches for the knife he's laid next to the tray of steaming bread and begins cutting the loaf into pieces.

"Peeta..." I say to him quietly.

He turns his head to me, a warm smile on his lips. "Yeah?"

I'm not sure why but a single thought spills out of my mouth before I can stop it. "I'm sorry about what happened to your family."

_Stupid, Katniss. _I berate myself in my thoughts. _You're so stupid. Why would you bring that up?_

Peeta doesn't answer me immediately and I worry that I've offended him beyond repair.

"I was being stupid. I'm sorry-" I try to apologize when he interrupts me.

"It's fine."

"_Peeta_..."

He finishes cutting the bread and takes a piece, extending his arm to me. I take it from his hand, nodding a silent thank you and bite into the bread, chewing quietly before Peeta takes a bite of a piece that he's cut for himself.

_Great, _I think, _I've screwed everything up... again._

"I'm not mad about what you said." Peeta tells me quietly after a few more moments that are completely silent. "I just needed time to think of a response. I've been been missing them so much and I've just recently come to terms with what happened."

"You've suffered more than I have." I say.

"We both have suffered, Katniss." Peeta replies. He's taken another piece of bread and is spreading butter over it with a knife. "You've lost your sister and your dad."

"But _you've_ lost your _entire_ family."

He nods. "There's nothing I can do about it... and there was nothing that I _could _do about it."

I find myself wishing I had this boy's strength. After my father's death I had been a miserable wreck... he doesn't seem to care all that much.

"If I lost all of my family, I think I would die." I tell him.

"I thought I would too when I heard what happened... but then I realized something."

"And what is that?"

"Since the Games, I realized you and Haymitch are my family. I'm not completely alone."

He reaches for my hand and I gladly meet it with my own. I smile at him, not sure how to respond to such a sweet sentiment. We inch together and he places a kiss on my lips before opening his eyes and looking to me again. Then he says something I will never forget.

"As long as I have the two of you, I'll be all right."

My arm raises as if it has taken on a life of his own and my hands meets his cheek. I meet his gentle, calm eyes and stroke his cheek before we share another kiss.

"I love you." I say quietly.

Peeta's lips meet mine yet again and we kiss rather passionately before he answers me.

"I love you too."

We kiss even more and this time we pull each other close and a certain fire consumes me. My arms snake around his neck, pulling him closer so that we are pressed up against one another, and he begins to kiss me gently and slowly down my neck. I seize a little bit, this new sensation feeling strange, and he lets his hands come to rest around my waist. His lips meet mine again and I refuse to let go of them, my need for his love stronger than ever. Between kisses, my hands ruffle through his blonde hair and I begin to undo the buttons on his shirt. He breaks from the kiss and looks into my eyes. We're both panting at this point and we smile at each other.

"I think we'd better stop before things go too far..." I say to him, fear igniting in my heart all of a sudden.

Peeta nods. "Okay." He places a kiss on my forehead before he draws away from me and continues dividing the bread between the two of us.

"Who was that on the phone earlier?" I ask, my memories from earlier having pretty much disappeared as a result of my meltdown.

He hands me another piece of bread which I immediately take and practically stuff in my mouth. "Effie."

_I thought she was too busy with her Capitol life to visit anymore...? _

"What did she want?" I ask.

Peeta then takes the teapot and teacup, holding one in each hand and pours until the teacup is almost full. Before answering, he hands it to me.

"She's coming to visit." He tells me.

"President Paylor gave her leave to come to _District 12_ of all places?"

Peeta shrugs, a smile on his face as he pours his own tea. "I guess so."

"It'll be nice to see her again."

"Yeah. There's one problem, though."

I sip the tea, knowing precisely what he means. "Haymitch."

"Exactly."

"You would think that they would at least _try_ to get along after they've been stuck with us through _two_ Hunger Games." I say nonchalantly, feeling a lot better all of a sudden.

"Well, I think Haymitch is a far better actor than we give him credit for." Peeta replies with a nod before sipping the tea until it's almost gone.

"We can try to keep them from tearing each other apart." I offer to him, half-joking and half-serious.

"All right. But it'd probably be like the Hunger Games between just the two of them." Peeta places the now-empty teacup on the tray and looks to me.

I laugh which feels so out of place because of the way I've been feeling since the end of the war. "Well, I think we can do it. We _are_ a team after all, remember?"

"Definitely." He responds quietly.

I take his hand and mock Effie's Capitol accent. "And may the odds be _ever_ in our favor."

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter, guys! :) Thanks for reading.


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